Q. What is Scripture’s basic teaching on the natural differences between men and women?
A: A biblical worldview is grounded in God as Creator and understanding all he has made as part of his very good design. The fall and curse have marred his creation, but the goodness remains and is in the process of being restored and redeemed. This goodness is declared to be true of creation by God after he has created humanity as male and female. So, the created equality of and distinctions between men and women should be understood, valued, and expressed. Men and women are completely equal in the dignity and value qualities inherent to being made in God’s image. Both are equally necessary to image God and fulfill the creation mandate to rule over and subdue creation and be fruitful and multiply to the glory of God. Although men and women have far more commonalities than differences, our differences are wonderful and vital to who God has made us, and key to how we are intended to glorify him. These differences are physical, emotional, sexual, psychological, neurological, spiritual, hormonal, and relational, and lead to a beautiful complementary display of the equality and distinction within God himself.
Q. What is the relation between the natural law and the natural differences of men and women?
A: Natural law is grounded in the way things are obviously designed by God when he created the world. There is no conflict between God’s design and the way we are to function and relate as human beings created by God for his glory. Male and female bodies are created to work together sexually, as are all the other created differences. For men and women to become one in marriage, and to relate in distinct yet harmonious ways in general, requires understanding, unselfishness, and a primary motivation to glorify God in the midst of the joys and challenges that come with fallen men and women living together in meaningful relationships.
Christian ethics flow out of the way God designed the world and are never in conflict with that design. Just one example of this is that those with greater physical strength should always use that strength to empower and protect those who are weaker. When a man uses his strength in an abusive or domineering way, it is a great evil and defies God’s design. Of course there are exceptions, but generally men are considerably stronger than women and a man must use that strength to honor, protect, and provide for his wife and all those he may be called to serve in this way (1 Pet 3:7).
Q. How should natural differences between men and women inform their roles in the home, church, and society?
A: I believe our distinct roles as men and women naturally flow out of the masculinity and femininity with which God has created us. Masculinity is a God-given role and instinct for men to provide, protect, and initiate in their relationships with women, and femininity is a God-given role and instinct for women to encourage and support this leadership role in men. This relational dynamic is most clearly seen in marriage and the local church, but also exists in less clear and defined ways in male-female relationships in general. These instincts and ways of relating to one another will include practical differences in how we function together, but they primarily are seen in the degree of responsibility men have and the relational dynamic between men and women.
Our roles are not mutually exclusive, and of course women can, should, and wonderfully do provide, protect, and initiate in all kinds of God-glorifying ways. But I believe there are transcultural ways men and women relate to one another that should endure even if a woman is a man’s boss at work. I could provide a good argument, for example, that I should have the last open seat on a bus instead of a younger, more physically fit woman, but I would never take the seat instead of her.
Q. Where is the Christian teaching of male-female natural differences most at odds with the prevailing narrative regarding men and women in the Western world?
A: It is difficult to define what the “prevailing narrative” is in the West because the answer depends on what subculture within the West one is talking about. There does, however, seem to be a general and significant movement away from a clear definition of male and female and any roles that go with those definitions. Growing belief in radical autonomy and a hyper validation of personal subjective feelings as the arbiter of what is true and real has led to an incoherent rejection of even biological differences between men and women.
For many, the autonomous self decides reality, and submission to things as they are is rejected as oppressive. I believe that despite significant movements away from God’s design for male and female, for most people there is still an inescapable common sense understanding of male and female differences and even some kind of roles that go along with those differences. This understanding is still true even if people are fearful of publicly admitting it. Even Hollywood culture, which seems to generally reject “gender binary,” cannot get away from it. In Titanic, no one protests when it is women and children first in the lifeboats, or when Rose is on the door and Jack floats away into the frozen sea. When Eugene in Tangled gives his life so Rapunzel can go free, everyone knows that was the manly thing to do. And since the war in Israel began, people have been pleading for the hostages to be released, starting with the women and children. God made us male and female for our joy and his glory and even with all the efforts to obliterate those distinctions in our day, they endure nonetheless.
Q. What do you see is the greatest temptation or strongest challenge to Christian faithfulness with regard to male-female natural differences?
A: The challenge to faithful Christian living regarding sexuality and marriage is the same as the challenge in all areas of life in which we are called to faithful obedience — transformation through the Spirit and the Word. The Bible commands that we “not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Rom 12:2).
As biblical teaching on human sexuality moves further away from God’s design, pressure to conform to the growing consensus in the way we think, talk, and live will increase. Biblical sexuality for a growing number of people is seen as not only wrong and antiquated, but immoral and oppressive. Christians will have to resolutely maintain positive, hopeful, joyful, God-glorifying belief in God’s intention in creation for men and women. This must be true, not only in what we teach, but in how we live. There is something profoundly attractive to people made in God’s image when God’s design for his creation is on display. Even if people reject and hate God’s design for them, his ways are the only path to abundant and meaningful lives. So, more than ever, Christians need to lean into Spirit-empowered, gospel-grounded relationships as God intends.
Q. How can Christians employ the Christian view of men and women as a witness in the midst of cultural opposition?
A: As important as Christian sexual morality is, the Christian’s primary ministry is to know Christ and make him known through our gospel-grounded lives and Spirit-enabled preaching. We seek to glorify God through introducing people to Jesus who alone can restore their relationships with their Creator and enable them to live lives that glorify him. This will have a transformative effect on every area of our lives because sin has affected every area of our lives.
We need to address sexual sin and dysfunction as fellow sinners who desperately need Jesus for forgiveness, no more or less than anyone else. Because of our shared depravity, we are all sexually messed up and need Jesus to save us from all the ways sin has damaged us. Even if the details of our depravity look different from others, we all should be able to relate to anyone we meet as needy people. We need to oppose lies and love people in word and deed so that people we know meet the Savior we all need. Any departure from God’s design for us dishonors him and destroys us. So, our love for people who are caught in the confusion and distortions of our day will be a love that points them to Jesus as the one who loves to welcome lost people home. Sin of any kind promises freedom, but it imprisons us and only leads to emptiness and exhaustion. As we seek to help bring clarity and truth to sexuality issues, our primary message must remain that Jesus is tenderhearted and invites weary sinners to come to him to find everything they could ever want (Matt 11:28–30).
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