Battle of the Sexes – Why Gender Matters

Complementing sexes are the fabric of marriage. While serving as the foundation for human flourishing, they also form a crucial piece in a divinely ordered universe. In the beginning, God made the heavens and the earth, light and dark, water and land, cherubim and seraphim, plants according to their kind, animals according to their kind, etc. Contrary to popular belief, the universe didn’t begin with a chaotic bang. It began with intricacy. With order. And standing at the apex of creation were Adam and Eve. It comes as no surprise, then, that the same individuals who cling to macroevolution as a reasonable theory of creation generally tend to advocate egalitarianism as a viable option for marriage. If your universe doesn’t begin with order, neither will your marriage. From gender to genetics, order is important. (1 Cor. 14:33)

While recognizing the equality of the sexes, the aim of a complementarian marriage is to glory in the differences between man and woman. An egalitarian marriage, on the other hand, wishes to erase those differences. As a result, American culture is traveling in a gender-neutralizing trajectory. From our nation’s military to public restroom policy, gender is becoming more irrelevant and more androgynous. However, while left-leaning activists and media may propose the idea that this is for “equality” and the betterment of society, a biblical view of order should suggest that it’s, in fact, doing the exact opposite. In reality, a world without gender is a war between genders.

A theology of sin begins with the idea of rebellion and broken relationships. When God-assigned roles are abdicated, what ensues cannot be defined as “tolerant” by any stretch of the imagination. What we witness instead is tyranny, resentment, and a propensity for hatred. Look no further than the very first male and female. Upon sinning, not only do Adam and Eve hide from God, they begin blaming one another. (Gen. 3:12) What began as a Great Commission to exercise dominion over the world as image-bearers of God quickly became servitude to a snake. Shrugging off God’s order doesn’t free us from constraints; it enslaves us and makes us lower than what God designed us to be.

When God’s order was reversed and the Serpent deceived the woman, gender roles were resisted…but we don’t find harmony in self-identification. We see a battle between the sexes: “To the woman he said, ‘I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.’” (3:16) This is the first instance of feminism in the history of the world. Just a chapter earlier, Eve was described as a “helper” fit for Adam. (2:18) Now she is recalcitrant, and the call to submit to her husband becomes a chore instead of a joy. Likewise, Adam now has a tendency to “rule” instead of lead faithfully. Headship has become hegemony. Here in the very first marriage, we see gender roles abdicated in a world of self-identity – much as our contemporary culture would seek to mimic. However, we don’t see harmony. We are witnessing catastrophe.

When God’s order is renounced, no one is empowered. And this is why, for example, same-sex marriage and pornography are a part of the same “sexual revolution.” Whether a woman is told to be a man or be subservient to a man, she is not only being led away from godly womanhood; she is being pitted against the very man she is designed to be in unity with. Because of God’s good order, gender neutrality is gender hostility. Sin demands that one sex rise up and resent the other. (Gen. 3:16)  Therefore the feminist notion of “tolerance” or the transgender claims to self-identity are simply recapitulations of Eve’s dissatisfaction in the Garden. Her role wasn’t enough – she wanted to “be like God.” (Gen. 3:5) Ultimately any stake against God’s design is just that – a usurping of authority that isn’t ours to begin with.

In the end, complementarian marriage doesn’t campaign for the independence of the sexes, pitting them against one another. Instead, it recognizes the interdependence of the sexes! Paul writes, “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.” (1 Cor. 11:11-12) No man or woman can claim complete sovereignty over the opposite sex. There’s simply no room for superiority in a complementarian marriage. However, since “all things are from God,” we recognize that there is an order to everything. And that order is for our joy.

When women humbly submit to the authority of their husbands, they’re not lowering themselves. God looked upon such love and said it was “very good.” (Gen. 1:31) If it’s good enough for Yahweh, it should be good enough for us. And when men self-sacrificially lead their wives, this doesn’t make them superior to their wives. The same Gospel that declares homosexuality to be unnatural also squashes any claim to male domination. Christian headship doesn’t look like worldly headship. Christ wooed and loved His bride by laying down His life for her. (Eph. 5:22-33) Embedded in Christian marriage is the Gospel. Therefore, a world that renounces God-ordained gender will inevitably promote a war between genders. We must be reminded that God’s order isn’t tyranny. It is, rather, a temporary union He mercifully provided so that we might catch a glimpse of a more permanent and glorious one.

This article was previously published here. You can find more resources on theology, history, and culture by Obbie Todd at his website.