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Topics: Womanhood, Women in Ministry

Don’t Waste Your Waiting

August 15, 2013

single gal-

By Katie Van Dyke

It’s not difficult to pick up on the fact that many single women really struggle in this stage of life. As a single woman, I know how hard and frustrating it can be to wait for a godly man to come along. I have a great desire to be a godly wife and mother, but instead I am doing something else that definitely is not my greatest passion in life. However, I’ve recently been reminded that this time in life really is a gift. Through my singleness, the Lord has taught me the importance of not wasting my waiting.


Lessons Learned in the Waiting

During my time of singleness, I have started asking myself some probing questions. Reading Scripture and asking the Lord for guidance has been extremely helpful. I have become much more aware of my attitude in different situations and how to respond in a gracious and loving way. If you desire to grow in your season of waiting, ask yourself this questions: What areas in my life may the Lord be calling me to surrender to him so that he can help me grow? Ask him to reveal these to you and then diligently seek to grow in them. Singleness is a special time to grow in important areas, and also learn what it means to be a godly woman before we get married. In Scripture, Paul even goes as far to say that singleness can be a great advantage while trying to further the kingdom (I Cor. 7:25-35).We do not have a family to nurture and care for, so it is the perfect opportunity to really focus on our character.

Another thing the Lord has taught me is to find something to pour my time into. I have asked myself, is there anything I am passionate about other than wanting to be a godly wife and mother? If so, how can I get involved with that right now while I have an ample amount of time? If not, I need to spend time praying that the Lord would lead me to a ministry that I can pour my life and time into. If there is something you really like to do, find a ministry that caters to that and devote time to it. Most likely, the church you attend has many ministries in which you can get involved. There are opportunities to minister to the church (children’s ministry, youth ministry, choir, etc.) and opportunities to minister to the world (outreach, missions, prison ministries, etc.). Find one that you are drawn to and invest your time in it!  We have a great opportunity right now to serve the Lord with undivided hearts and most of us have a greater amount of time. Let’s use this time to further God’s kingdom and minister to others. It’s not only a blessing to other people. It’s a huge blessing to us, too.

Third, while waiting, we can become impatient, which increases the risk of us carelessly falling for the first guy that comes along. Think through what it means to follow Christ wholeheartedly and don’t settle for anything less than a man who loves the Lord. I’m not saying a perfect man. No one is perfect. A couple of questions to ask yourself could be 1- is it evident through his speech and actions that the Lord is first and foremost in his life and 2- is he really involved in a local body of believers and not just simply an attender? Of course, there are many other things to look for, but these two questions are a starting point and can be helpful to know before entering a relationship.

Don’t Waste Your Waiting

One practical example of using our season of waiting for God’s glory is to meditate on Scripture. While this is just a start, listed below are some passages that have been encouraging to me during my wait. They are:

  • 1 Corinthians 7:17-35; 10:23-33
  • Ephesians 5
  • Romans 12:3-8
  • Colossians 1:9-14; 3:12-17
  • Ruth (whole book)
  • Proverbs 31

God’s word never returns void. We can bank on God using the truths of his word to strengthen us, grow us, and equip us to be the godly women he created us to be.

Ladies, this time of waiting in singleness can be extremely difficult if you desire marriage. But, by God’s grace we can begin to look at this time as a gift (I Cor. 7:6-7). Let’s be wise with our time, focusing on personal growth and pouring into the lives of others. And, also, let’s be an encouragement to men around us. May our godly character as women strengthen and encourage them to be the godly men the Lord is calling them to be (Eph. 4:29).


Katie Van Dyke currently lives in Houston, where she works for an energy company downtown. In her free time, she enjoys reading, writing, and watching movies. As a single woman, she knows the day to day struggles singleness can bring and has a heart to encourage other young women in the same stage of life. Her main passions in life are family and biblical womanhood, and hopes, Lord willing, to one day become a godly wife and mother. Her other passions in life are macaroni and cheese and bacon. Read more from Katie at

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