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Topics: Marriage, Womanhood

Letter to My Unsaved Friend Before Her Wedding: Genesis 2

May 16, 2013

walk through the word

By Rondi Lauterbach

(Editor’s Note: Below is a letter written by Rondi to an unsaved friend before her wedding. In it, Rondi unpacks Genesis 2 as it relates to marriage. We hope you enjoy this slightly different post that exhorts us from God’s word.)

Dear Jodi,

I’m so excited you’re getting married! I know you’ve been living with this guy for a few years, but still, it’s a big step, and kind of scary. You asked for some advice. Here it is: I want you to know that marriage is God’s idea. That means he’s for it.

Let me explain. The Bible talks about marriage very early. In fact, it starts in the second chapter. It makes the point that marriage is part of the foundation of our world.

When God made the world it was like the first movement of a very exciting symphony. The beauty and variety of our world brought every instrument into play. Cymbal crashes punctuated each section with a triumphant “Good!” The final crescendo was his creation of us, humans, made to be a reflection of him. The Bible calls us, both men and women, his image bearers. “Very Good!” was the final note of chapter one.


Chapter two opens with a solo, a spotlight on a moment in creation. Adam, the man, is alone in the garden. All that beauty, plenty of food and work to keep him busy, but no one to share it with. A plaintive note begins, “Not good.”  Alone might be good in spurts, but as a way of life? Not good.

God speaks.

“It is not good that man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18).

What? A helper? That doesn’t sound very romantic!

God actually brought each animal to Adam (Genesis 2:19-20). As he named them, he realized that none was suitable for him. Not one. He didn’t just need an assistant, he needed someone to sing with him. He wasn’t made for a solo.

Like him, but different

A surprise occurs at this point. Until now God had formed all the creatures, including man, from the ground. But now he puts Adam to sleep, performs surgery and creates Eve from a part of Adam’s own body. Why? This unique origin points to the origin of so many things you might feel as you head to the altar:

  • Origin of attraction. You and your fiancé are like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. You fit because in a general way, you were created for each other. Adam said, “At last!”
  • Origin of affection. He loves you like he loves his own body, because that’s the way it began. You love him because you feel like part of him. You are!  Adam said, “You are bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh!”
  • Origin of interdependence. You need each other’s differences. He needs your female perspective. You need his masculine objectivity and strength. Adam said, “She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

All these come from being equal, but different. But there’s one more, very needed.

  • Origin of order. The details here are full of implications. Adam was created first, not Eve. Eve was created from Adam, not the other way around. Eve was created for Adam, not Adam for Eve. There is an order implicit in the details. It’s not an accident, but part of the original design.

Sound unfair? It’s actually good. A business without a leader goes bankrupt. A country without a leader disintegrates into chaos. An orchestra without a conductor dissolves into noise. A marriage without a leader goes nowhere. God wove order into marriage so it would run smoothly. 


The goal is to turn a solo into a duet of such complex harmony it reaches a profound unity. God made the one into two, so he could make the two into one. That’s why this section concludes,

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and unashamed. (Genesis 2:24-25)

Jodi, this “one flesh” experience is not just a physical unity, but a profound oneness in all areas of life. It is initiated by God the moment you say, “I do.”

The Perfect Duet

I know you waited this long because you’re afraid of divorce. You’ve seen a lot of bad marriages around you, so the Adam and Eve story must sound like a fairy tale.

The truth is, Adam failed Eve and Eve failed Adam. You and your husband will fail each other.

But there is one husband who is perfect. His wife was also created from his side. In fact, after Jesus died on the cross for our sins, a soldier pierced his side with a spear. From that wound came proof that he was dead and proof that our sins can be forgiven. Everyone who believes in him becomes his beloved, to whom he says,

“At last! You are now bone of my bones

and flesh of my flesh!”

I pray your wedding day will be beautiful beginning to a marriage that draws you to Jesus.

Much love,



Rondi entered the Ivy League full of personal ambition and left under a new Master. Her passion is to help women see Jesus in the Word and be nourished by him. She has been a pastor’s wife for over thirty years, a mother of three, and now a very happy grandmother. She and her husband Mark live in San Diego.

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